Mare Nostrum (Latin for Our Sea)

Introduction:

Nine months ago I found myself in the bathroom at work and my mind was wondering about what I'd say if I finally did this self indulgent travel that I'd been thinking so much about doing. Of course it came out better in my head than I could write it down...but it was the moment that it all clicked...And I went back to my desk and promptly wrote the following, always knowing that it would be the start of my next adventure, no matter when that adventure was to take place.

At 25 I find myself with best friends who are medical students, lawyers and investment bankers-- none of whom are any more sure of what they are doing than I am although from the outside they may seem it. I spent my first year out of school living in Spain with the dream of speaking Spanish just the way I speak English. I thought I'd find my life passion abroad, I didn't--unless my life passion is being abroad which it very well might be. I came home after 9 months and a Spanish romance, not feeling any closer to knowing what I wanted to do than I was before. I met a guy right away, he fit the bill. He was the exact opposite of the Spaniard--Jewish, successful, American. And I thought perfect, since I felt directionless this guy would ground me. I put all my eggs in one basket and took a full time job in Boston. Needless to say the relationship failed, failed with a capital F. But luckily I liked my job and I thought I'll do this for awhile and it will lead to my next step. But suddenly a couple of years passed and I realized I wasn't going anywhere. I wasn't depressed but I was sick of my noodle soup being the closest to Thailand I was getting. I watched movies like Vicky, Christina, Barcelona and read books like Eat Pray Love, and fantasized about ways I could make that my life. The company I worked for serviced international families-- every summer I put kids on planes, to Canne, Ibiza, Beirut, HK, Tokyo, Bangkok, Santiago, Rio, I was becoming sick of envying everyone else' lives. But still I didn't know what I wanted to DO.

What did I want to do? I wanted to take a cooking course in Paris, I wanted to go shop the markets in India and Istanbul, I wanted to work with refugees in Africa, I wanted to dance Tango in Argentina, I wanted to go back to Madrid, fall in love again with speaking Spanish-- I wanted to do exactly what Elizabeth Gilbert wanted to do with her spaghetti. But I knew all of this was horribly self-indulgent and quite frankly I was too scared of going too far off track. but what was beginning to feel even scarier was staying on a track I didn't have. I sat in Yom Kippur services and listened only to the words that spoke about old age "the years life gives us are not enough to satisfy our hunger for life" And so finally I decided to to do what was least expected--to do exactly what I wanted. None of this came without a price, I moved home for nine months, and aggressively saved my money--saving money had probably been my biggest challenge in life, and yet this time it couldn't have been easier and that's when I knew I was about to make the right change.

I know I'm sounding like a horrible cliche of our generation...WHO doesn't want to do all these things?? But what I hope is that I can inspire people to stop waiting to live their life, to stop depriving themselves of their thirst for whatever it is because as the Jamaican man on the plane next to me said "Living isn't just being alive".